Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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