I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize