Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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