I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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