i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
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After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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