so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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