is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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