you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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