Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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