You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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