recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize