So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize