help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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