is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
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Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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