Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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