I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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