last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
PANTIES FOUND
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize