Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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