You're a womanizer and a bitch.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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