I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize