is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
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I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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