Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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