Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Panties = found
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize