There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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