Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That accounts for only three of the penises
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize