Swine flu. Run for my life!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We're too hungover to prance.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize