But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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