i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize