Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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