you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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