About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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