The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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