This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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