my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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