So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize