shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize