He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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