so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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