thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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