WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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