I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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