I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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