he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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