Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Floor bacon is actually really good
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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