Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize