I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize