Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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