Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize