I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize