you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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